Thursday, August 25, 2011

Set Back

I started this blog to write about my incredible journey through life and how it has all led to me being able to live a dream that I have had for a long time.  I have so many things I want to write about, but last week something happened that has made me unable to think about my dream at this time. I am not sure how to deal with it.  Maybe writing will help me figure out where to go.

I will be writing this in a vague way since I do not want to name anyone.  The problem has been going on for a couple of years, but I have never had to deal with this type of problem before and felt that I would just keep doing things the way I always have.  I sent a RSVP to a special person's birthday party and I received an email stating that a person did not want me to be there and listed problems that they could not deal with anymore.  They never said anything to be in the past and I thought that the coldness I was getting was just the way they were.  This same thing had happened with other people and I just thought it was my turn now.  I wrote back in defense of myself and told them I would not attend the party. 

I could probably stop this behavior by giving in and playing the game they seem to enjoy playing, but I just can't do that.  I have never had to deal with a person that needs people to feel sorry for them, worry about every thing you say and hope it will not offend them, not knowing when I should talk about something and when I should be quiet, when I should laugh and when not to, etc.  I have always tried to help them in any way I could or make things for them or try to show them how to do it for themselves. 

I would never intentionally upset a family or rip them apart like this.  My family has always been very close and now I have to try not to make it any worse by fighting back.  I don't know if time will make a difference or not.  I just know that I can not be around this person when they sit and glare and do not make any attempt to join in a conversation.  I am sure they are use to having people give in to them, but it does not seem to work since it keeps happening again.  I could do that and then six months from now see that it is happening all over again.  I would think they could see how it makes them look after going through this time after time with others.

I love all my family and hope that this can be cleared up without having any lasting hurt feelings.  This blog was to be a way of letting my family know how much they have meant to me after I am gone.  Something they can read and know all the special times we have shared and how much they have been a part of my dream. 

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